Thursday, April 14, 2005

Here, Kitty Kitty Kitty!

Editor's Note: This stray tomcat of a post deserves to be "fixed" if not euthanized. Sometimes the writer gets so wrapped up in throwing words at the wall to see what sticks, that the product is an inconsistent half-bake. The author has promised to compose a second draft, but I won't hold my breath. For now, I will leave this piece of steaming odiferous excrement on-line for all to behold. As the author is wont to remind me, "Even the Great make mistakes." Let this be a lesson to Wog, that frequent polluter of bandwidth"!

Hi All!

Our Wisconsin friends have been in the news lately as a DNR advisory group is pushing to legalize the shooting of feral cats. (That means "wild" for those in the General College)

The animal rights sissies are predictably aghast and agape at the very suggestion. Never mind that these fearsome felines and terrible tabbies slaughter millions and millions of sweet little songbirds each and every year.

Governor Doyle has intervened, declaring the effort to make this rational and humane proposal a non-starter. His concern is that his beer-besotted, cheese-headed state is becoming "a laughing stock." !?

Too late, Doyle. Wisconsin's reputation is sealed, cats and birds be damned.

A short paragraph at the end of the article, sort of an "Oh, by the way" made a wheat chex catch in my throat.

Come to find out that Minnesota, the land countless lakes, loons and liberals actually allows this disgusting bloodsport.

Uh Oh....

I just sensed a stirring in the Left Wing of the State Capitol. For a group which fought tooth and nail to save the delectable mourning dove from mass extermination, a choice will have to be made between wild kitties and sweet little birdies.

I'm predicting a mobilization of the Cat Pride movement.

I admit a deeply held suspicion and coolness toward cats. My Nana used to say that cats and crows are reincarnations of really evil people, and I'm inclined to believe it, so I'd personally off a wild cat if given the chance. Unfortunately, dad's lake place is in freak'n Wisconsin.

Minnesota marksmen, you had best bag as many ferals as you can this year, 'cos it's too late to get a bill heard this Spring, but I'm sure one will be in the hopper for next session. Lessee, this would be a project for "Perky" Ellen Anderson Dawkins and Alice "Ma" Hausmann.

There. I've "outed" myself as a cat hater so when I get elected to the Legislature the Cat Activists won't have to litter the media with surreptitious photos of me hanging out at the Kitty Kat Klub.


Meow, hiss, scratch, rip, tear...


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hello there: If millions more cat owners would do what I do and keep Kitty indoors we'd all be much better off. Left, right, who's wrong or out of sight, there are too many Neanderthals out there who can't appreciate what a fine animal the cat really is. My 15 year old neutered male cat has never missed the outdoors and I rest easier knowing he's safe 24-7. I've never had a mouse here either. A well deserved medal for the cat!

7:10 PM  

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