Letter to a Son

Dear Son,

I love you.

Now that the formalities are done with, let’s get down with the heavy stuff.

You are at the point in your life when, as is said, “The world is your oyster.” Pry it open and find your pearl.

If I die with regrets (and I am determined NOT to…) I would feel like somehow I let you down. You have had a lot of nurturing and freedom and that was the goal I pursued for you. Sure, I had my control freak moments from the time I taught you to be left-sports-handed to marching you off to the High School of my choice, not yours.

In between, I did the best I could to let you grow into whatever you were to become. I hope that wasn’t interpreted as neglect.

I’m sorry if my drinking hurt you. Hopefully you will learn something from my suffering.

Trying to find the right amount of nurture and nature is tough. I should have given you more responsibilities when you were younger, so reality wouldn’t hit you hard, which it has or soon will, I hope.

If I have taught you anything, I hope it is that working hard and being happy are the two most important things in life.

Whatever course you choose, try to make it something you really want to do, from which career to pick, whether to marry and have kids and with whom and all of the big life decisions you will soon face.

I hope we can always be friends and that you will seek and respect my advice. I don’t think we have communicated very well and I’d like to see that change.

Finally, be prepared for adversity. You will be losing many loved ones over the next several years. You may have financial problems that put your education on hold. Stuff happens in general, at the least expected or opportune times.

Don’t dwell on them or dread them, but don’t be caught by surprise.

I will continue to work hard to do good things every day and to go to bed happy. I think it is keeping me alive.

Don’t wait until death stares you in the face to start living life as God means us to.

Love,

Dad